Double
Peppermint Schnapps on the Rocks
by:
Kingston
Amadan
Many years ago when I was young,
attractive and a viable commodity
on the dating market, I was employed
as a bartender. Believe it or
not, I actually went to "school"
to learn this trade. I was living
in Las Vegas at the time, and
I decided to attend a local bartending
academy (translated - you pay
us and we'll get you a job as
a bartender). Six years, 50,000
bottles of Bud Light and several
hundred Captain and cokes later
I finally hung up my shaker, but
not before I learned a valuable
trick ot two about meeting other
singles at a club. The three peices
of wisdom I feel safe imparting
with are as follows:
# 1 Never go alone
#2 Pretend you don't care if
you meet someone or not (even
though we both know what you are
there for, you slut) AND...
#3 Double peppermint shnapps
on the rocks
OK, 1 and 2 are fairly simple
to understand...but what's up
with number 3, you ask?
It's simple, really. You've shown
up looking like a million dollars
(or $138.57 in my case). You make
eye contact with the guy or girl
you want to meet. You finally
muster up the courage to go over
and introduce yourself and then
what do you do? Of course...you
lean in and turn your head so
as not to expose your future victim
to the intoxicating mix of cheap
beer and saliva your teeth are
fermenting in. Why do you do this?
You do it because YOU KNOW your
breath is bad. How could it not
be? Most mixed drinks, beer and
liquors aren't doing your delivery
any favors. So what's the solution?
Double peppermint schnapps on
the rocks. I remember vividly
that one gentleman at a nightclub
I worked at always ordered it,
every single time he came in.
Guess what...he never went home
alone unless he wanted to. Let's
face it, you wouldn't immediately
dismiss a man or woman who slurred
his or her speech while hitting
on you but you would put the kabash
on a bad breath encounter quicker
than you could say "last
call". No one likes to see
someone at their worst, but to
smell someone at their worst is
far more disgusting. So the next
time you go to the club looking
for a romantic encounter, order
the one drink that might help
you out. If you really want to
be safe, send one over to the
table of the person you are interested
in before you take that long walk
over to make your case. Good luck
and good breath.
About The Author
Kingston Amadan
A BadBreathOGram is an
e-mail you send to someone
who you want to know has
bad breath but you do not
want to confront directly.
Give it a try.
http://www.badbreathogram.com/.
|
