So you've decided to crown yourself with
a title that a million other people (just
like you (yes, just like you!)) give themselves
every day. Some people believe giving
yourself such a title is equivalent to,
and just as beneficial monetarily, as
naming yourself Queen of England. But,
there is no grace, rarely enough publicity,
and only the title of Court Jester seems
to be becoming for you because you are
a fool among others.
What is this sacred title? Poet.
Why does titling yourself a "poet" make
you a Fool? Well, it doesn't, not in and
of itself. But if you've only been published
online, never in print-that could be a
sign of your well-earned Fool status.
To be blunt-that is a sign that you write
bad poetry.
Why would these sites accept your work
if it sucked, you ask? Maybe to raise
their quota, maybe to get more submissions
of the site's particular interest, but
mainly to actually HAVE something to post-most
(but not all) sites are desperate for
submissions. Or maybe they're out for
a profit. Come on, who among us HASN'T
had something accepted by the National
Library of Poetry, and then gotten all
the brochures for expensive products featuring
our work?
The Webmaster vs. Editor Problem: Go
to any website, check it out. Can you
find someone with the title of Webmaster?
How about editor? Or, still yet, Webmaster
AND Editor? A Webmaster does not, by any
means, mean Editor. Simply because someone
is a webmaster (someone who controls the
site, updates the postings, etc. . . )
does not mean that the person is an EDITOR
(someone who corrects the work, proofreads,
re-writes, re-words, etc.) of the work
posted on the site. In many cases, webmasters
who are disguising themselves as editors
are giving real editors a bad name. A
webmaster, will too often post submissions
"as is" and not give a damn about the
content or presentation. However, if a
site has someone who can both edit and
be a webmaster then the site is moving
in the right direction.
This is the main problem source. Building
a website, and getting work "published"
on a website is so easily done by anyone
whether they have talent or not that it
de-values the word "published" and lessens
the role of an Editor.
Granted, the internet IS a great marketing
tool for promoting your work, getting
your name in the public's eye, and getting
writing experience, but have you ever
asked yourself why your work is ONLY published
online? Perhaps it is because no discerning
EDITOR has ever seen your dribbly poems,
except in browsing the web for bad poems
to laugh at.
Here are a few tips that will help you
to get your work published online. Hey,
I figured if you're going to be a fool
about getting your unpolished work published
on the internet for the world to see,
I'd give a few tips to help your bad poetry
stay that way, since you seem to like
that way best:
- Place the word "Love" in your title.
That's a major plus!
- Be straight-forward, don't use symbols,
metaphors or anything that will make
the reader think. Readers don't have
time to think.
- Focus on form-(sonnets, villanelles,
haiku). Since you think in form, write
in form.
- Keep your poem in a rhyme-scheme.
Why? Well, EVERYONE knows that all GOOD
poems rhyme, the rest can be disregarded
as a post-modern mess!
- Only write in YOUR point of view.
Write exactly what you believe, never
try to portray the image of someone
else. Better yet, start the poem with
"I".
- Keep your poems untitled. Readers
love to be creative and imagine what
the title should and could be.
- Write in the same place. If you write
in your bedroom-always write there;
if you write outside under a tree-always
write there---why try variety and ruin
a good thing?
- Don't ever base a character in a poem
on someone you actually KNOW. Heaven
forbid you get the piece published,
and have to explain to the person-"this
is you".
- Read, but if you don't like a poem
or a poet-just toss it. Don't even question
why you don't appreciate the work.
- Have no structure. Poetry is about
limitless expressions, right? So in
that sense, make your lines and stanzas
as long as you wish. Just write exactly
how you feel!
- Don't keep a journal. Journal causes
too much self-reflection and you want
to write for the moment, not yesterday.
- Use clichés as much as possible. People
like to read familiar phrases.
- Not every line of a poem is important.
Just make sure you have a good first
and last line.
14.Poems don't progress, that's the
difference between a story and a poem.
Poems aren't suppose to take you on
a journey to learn.
- Submit your poems to only websites.
That way, you will never have to face
the fact that your poetry SUCKS, because
it will only be read by the friends
and relatives to whom you give the site's
URL, and your friends will never tell
you that reading your poetry is greater
torture than letting a small, sharp-clawed
guinea pig walk on their sunburned skin.
If you follow these guidelines, and start
writing, you will be a "poet" in no time.
Remember that poetry HAS to rhyme, and
remember that the less you practice the
better you are.
Joking aside-you might want to try doing
exactly opposite of the "tips" in the
list. And, since many webmasters (who
are titling themselves Editor) aren't
doing their job, it's up to you to learn
to edit your work before you embarrass
yourself.
(This article is not commenting that
ALL online poetry is not well-crafted.
But the poorly crafted poetry far outweighs
the well-written by a landslide.)
| About The Author
Stephen Jordan, a Medical Editor
in Greenwich, Connecticut, currently
lives in New York City, has five
years experience within the educational
publishing industry. Stephen was
a freelance editor with such educational
foundations as Princeton Review,
The College Board, New York University,
and Columbia University. Away from
the office, Stephen promotes his
creative writing, painting, and
his home-based freelance business
OutStretch Publications. Stephen
holds two Bachelor of Arts degrees
in writing and literature from Alderson-Broaddus
College of Philippi, West Virginia.
Editor@OutStretch.net
|
This article was posted on January
05, 2004
